Dissection of 12 step program. step 9


In this series we will dissect the mainstream 12 step programs and prove point by point why its totally unless and why it shouldn't be used on people that suffer from game addiction


This is step number 9.

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.


This is a follow up step from step 8, where the game addict is supposed to write down people it hurt and reach out to those people and make peace with them. This makes sense to a point but its also a definition question.

What exactly did the game addict to hurt other people except that not being 100% present and available at all times?


Now we go back to other people agendas which I mentioned in step1 Probably up to 90% of the time we are doing things that are on other peoples agendas like from the example in step 1

The husband is forced to go shopping clothes with his wife be chase it is her agenda.

The husband is forced to go visit his parents in law because it might be their agenda or the wife s agenda.

The wife is helping her parents shopping because they are to old and weak, that's the parent's agenda.

The husband is taking the car for car inspection because it is the transport agency s agenda.

The husband and the wife are forced to do their tax declarations because it's the tax agency s agenda,

The husband and wife are forced drive the kids back and forth from sport events because it is the kid's agenda.

The kid is going to school because it is the agenda of the state.

The kid does his homework because it is the agenda of the teacher, the same kid does help his or hers mom with the laundry, because its moms agenda.


As mentioned before, in order for the game addict to have more time for gaming, he or she is forced to exclude things from other peoples agendas. Unless the game addict did something terrible the persons in order to have more time to play like got aggressive or violent, then yes of course the game addict should feel guild and apology to them.


So the problem with this step is as following.


This step is putting a general stamp on the game addict to feel guilt and that everything that come out of the game addiction did hurt others which is incorrect because to a degree, we are all free individuals and the mainstream 12 step programs fails to look at this issue from the 6 human needs perspective.


Let's look at this one as an example contribution and humanist If a person has this personality type and his or hers highest drift to contribute to society.


This person feels best by helping others. If this person spends 15 hours per day collecting money for a charity online and offline. That by definition means this person have less time to spend on other people agendas. Does this person have anything to apology for? Well unless this person got violent to his or hers closest friends and family, it has nothing to apology for.


How about the example with the human need "significance" the need of feeling special, important or uniqe


A painter that spends 20 hours per day painting. This person excludes other people agendas in order to have more time to satisfy his or hers most important human needs, the significance


But what has this to do with game addiction?


The game addict isn't addicted to the game. The game addict is addicted to one or several of the 6 human needs just like the charity worker the highest drift is to help other people and like the painter who's the highest drift is significance and you don't ask those people to go apology to everyone when they follow their heart.


The 9th step of the mainstream 12 step programs is somehow wright but for the wrong reasons. We should apology and make peace with people we hurt, no doubt about that. But to point out that game addiction did nothing else that hurt people and the game addict should feel guild and shame is wrong.


The right step should be:


I should only reach out and apology to people I've hurt because of my game addiction


Go to step nr 10

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