In this series, we will dissect the mainstream 12 step programs and prove point by point why it's totally useless and why it shouldn't be used on people that suffer from game addiction
This is step number 12.
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all affairs.
This is wrong for several reasons. The spiritual awakening the game addict may have because of the program (under the condition that the game addict is a believer) comes from praying.
If the game addict prays about positive things, which is the same thing as setting goals and focus on the right things he or she wants to change.
This is exactly what any serious self-development coach teaches.
Visions and goals.
But the most dangerous thing about this step is to carry the message to others.
Why would a game addict, or any addict for the matter, go back the thought patterns and talk about the past?
Dr. Paul Dobransky has an interesting theory about this where he gives an example when driving a car to work. When we drive our cars to work, we do that on autopilot, Because we know how to drive a car in our backbones, very little concentration is required of us. What's the result of that? We tend to drift away in our thought. There are only three different options here.
1. We think of the past
2. We think of the present
3. We think of the future
In his program which was about self-development and how to get the max out of your life, he pointed out that thinking of the past was a waste of time and energy because we cannot change the past. Thinking and mainly worrying about the future is also a waste of time and energy because first of all, we cannot predict the future because there are too many variables that are out of our control that can change. Of course, we can debate this from a goal setting and positive thinking point of view because goals affect the future. Dr. Paul Dobransky means that we get the max out of our lives if we think of the present! What's happening now and in this case, I would argue he is 100% right.
Why should a game addict talk to other game addicts about the past, and refresh the memories? Memories of something that was very fun and enjoyable and addict able from the six human needs point of view?
It's the same as an ex-alcoholic would go to parties, or as ex-smoker would spend time with a group of ex-smokers discuss how wonderful smoking was.
I have been a smoker myself for 17 years and I loved my smoking, the combination of coffee and a cigarette is the best thing there is. I wouldn't torture myself by spending time talking about it and reminding myself how much I miss it. Every time I think of it, talk about it and like now, write about it, I suffer because it would be the best thing on earth to take a break now, grab a coffee and go for a smoke. But it's not worth the health risks so I won't start smoking again.
It's like Dr. Paul Dobransky says. No need to go back in the past thinking of it. This point has been proven before where dropouts of different cults or less positive groups are advised to leave the group cold turkey and cut all the connections with the members. This makes sense. If someone wants to leave a neo-nazi group, he or she is advised to cut the connections and friendships with all the members of that group, same goes for the extreme religious groups.
If this is a general knowledge, then how come it is the opposite in the game addiction community and all the rest addiction-related environments?
The AA has meetings once a month. Why? We don't tell the drop off neo-nazi to meet his or her old friends.
We might argue that if several drops off Nazis have a meeting, they are on the same page. That is partly correct but it doesn't make the case because we don't mention other positive stuff that comes out of being a member of a group like group dynamics, acceptance, having a purpose, being connected to something greater than yourself and whatever else positive stuff that involves being a part of a group.
Why bring it up again and miss the old good days?
This is why the 12 step is very bad.
The real step should be:
I've quit gaming and now I don't want to have anything that has to do with gaming on my mind, ever again. I'm thinking presence, not the past.
Dissection of the 12 step program. Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. Principle - Spirituality
Dissection of the 12 step program. Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we carried this message to others who game excessively and practiced these principles in all our affairs. Principle - Service
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