In this series, we will dissect the mainstream 12 step programs and prove point by point why its entirely unless and why it shouldn't be used on people that suffer from game addiction
This is step number 4.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
This one takes you to a journey where you get to write down your biggest fears and mistakes and write them down on a paper.
This is one of the most stupid things you can ever do to yourself as a game addict (and as a normal person) from a psychological point of view.
Doing this to your psychology is as bad as taking drugs for your body.
Now, why is that?
Every serious life coach, self-development coach will tell you that you need to focus on the positive things and not the things you are afraid of or the things you don't want.
Tony Robbins gives a perfect example of this in one of his audio programs about self-development where he went out on a car racing practice with his coach.
As it turns out, every single person that does that for the first time crashes in the first turn.
Why is that?
The racing coach told this to Tony Robbins. He said:- Tony, you must concentrate on where you want to go and not where you don't want to crash. Yet, Tony crashed the car.
There is something strange going on inside our brains where the things we don't want to happen, happens anyway, just because we focus on that.
Try this short exercise: Don't think of the green color!! Don't think of the green color!! Don't think of the green color!!
I guess at this point, I don't have to ask you what color was on your mind. This is what happened to Tony Robbins in the racing car.
Tony was thinking the same, don't crash in the turn, don't crash in the turn, don't crash in the turn. Of course Tony crashed in the turn.
Have in mind that Tony Robbins is one of the most intelligent persons when and totally understands this because this is the kind of things he teaches in this self-development programs.
Every serious self-development coach will tell you the same thing. Don't focus on things you don't want, or they will happen.
Focus on the progress you want and how to get there. So why is the 4th step so catastrophic.
It tells you to write down all the things in your life where you failed, your fears, rejections, your addiction.
Why should you do this to yourself???
Have you ever heard, Criticize a child and it will learn to condemn, ridicule a child and it will be shy.
The last thing we need is to tell ourselves how bad we are, what mistakes we did. When we do that, our unconscious mind puts us on defense and when we are in defense, we are not open to suggestions or changes, we are just defending ourselves.
A good example is when we go on a work interview. A person with a normal social intelligence has different personalities in a different situation.
When we are with our closest friends that know us for years, we tend to curse a lot and use language we would never use when talking to an 80-year-old lady on the street because our social intelligence adapts to the situation.
When we are attending a job interview, we are in our most defensive state.
The boss asks us some questions, we want to make a perfect impression and in the same time, satisfy his or her questions while at the same time, we are afraid we won't satisfy the boss because it maybe turns out, we are not qualified for the job.
We are in our most defensive state. It's the same as when we are criticized. When we are criticized, we don't evaluate ourselves but attack the person that criticized us in pure defense or, depends on our personality, defend ourselves. Whatever the case, we are on our defensive state.
A dog barks and can attack us when he is pushed into a corner and afraid, We are similar in that way.
Let's say for the argument's sake we didn't get the job. Would it help us to beat ourselves up and to remind ourselves over and over what skills we missed getting that job? Let say we didn't have grades good enough. We didn't know computers well enough, we didn't have sufficient experience, maybe we didn't know Spanish well enough or whatever reasons we didn't get that job.
It doesn't help our case to beat ourselves up and focus on the negative stuff on why we didn't get that job? Remember Tony Robbins and why he crashed the turn. He focused on the wrong thing. He focused on not doing it.
Why torture ourselves by criticize ourselves and condemn ourselves as the 4th step tells us to? Like every professional and serious self-development coach says, Focus on the things you want to change! This is why the 4th step ”Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves" is very very bad
The real step should be:
I will concentrate on the right things for me and all the good things I'm able to achieve
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